From feeling to willing

Those words I wrote here was my feeling, yes; can't I express my feeling, as what you did so in yours? Actually I didn't expect you will still come to see my blog. For a very long time I thought you've been no more concerned about my feelings.

Do you really know about what she talked to me last night? Do you judge me in these few words? Or do you think I never care about your feelings? No! No! No! The whole thing should not be like this......

This night I cried before God, seeking forgiving and forgiveness. God bring me to read through one chapter of a book related to "Blessing". That chapter was about Peter, and Jesus forgave Peter's 3-times-denial Him.

Peter had been making so big promise, Peter's name is the "Solid Rock", Peter was the first son in his family and he had the responsibility......But he was failed.

In some aspect of the relationship between you and me, I feel I was Peter. A guy made many promises but unable to keep promises. A first son should be a rock but has many weakness. Many great beautiful testimonies had been in our joint prayers but now I dare not to mention them.

Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me even you are feeling so? Will you forgive me as what Jesus had done in Peter?

The song, one of your favorite, also accompany with my tears and reading tonight.

I am willing to forgive, and need your forgiveness. Although much of my feelings still exist, I surrendered them to the Lovely Abba Father.